Written by Matt Taylor-Roberts
Matt Taylor-Robert (He/Him) is the Founder and Managing Director of Proud 2 b Parents and with his husband, Matt is an adoptive parent to their amazing son. He feels privileged to work for a regional adoption agency as an independent panel member and has previously worked for an independent foster agency within the same role. However, he had to step away from this role due to becoming a foster carer for this agency. Matt has previously worked within Children's Services for a local authority. To find out more about Proud 2 b Parents please head over www.proud2bparents.co.uk.
As a gay dad, I embarked on a remarkable journey when my child entered school. From the early days of reception to the transitions and milestones of Year 1, I’ve witnessed firsthand the joys, challenges, and triumphs of being an LGBTQ+ parent in the educational system. I therefore wanted to share my experiences, insights, and reflections, shedding light on the unique journey of a LGBT+ parent navigating their child’s schooling.
From the first day of reception, I was determined to create an inclusive environment where my child would thrive. I approached the school teachers, emphasizing the importance of embracing diversity and promoting acceptance among all. I was pleasantly surprised by their open-mindedness and commitment to fostering an inclusive atmosphere. They then looked to me to answer their questions and point them in the right direction of equity and inclusion.
Throughout the early years of schooling, I discovered the significance of building strong relationships with teachers, other parents, and school staff. By being open about my family’s structure, I paved the way for understanding and acceptance. I actively engaged in school activities, volunteering my time and participating in parent-teacher meetings to establish connections and develop a sense of community. I, myself, joined the board of governors, while my partner became the chair of the PTA, ensuring we echoed the ‘normality’ of our family.
As my child progressed through reception and Year 1, I encountered occasional misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding LGBTQ+ parenting. I sometimes took these opportunities to educate and enlighten, sharing our family’s story and dispelling any doubts or concerns. Other times I was exhausted from educating others in the playground and just wanted to stand quietly in the rain, waiting for my ‘baby’ to finish school for the weekend.
Fortunately, my child has not faced overt bullying or bias but we have heard comments such as ‘why do you have two dads’, ‘are they your two dads’ and he has always been the child used for ‘every family is different’.
In Reception and Year 1, schools often organise events and activities that celebrate families, we always ensured one of our son’s parents were there to represent his family and that he had a cheering face in the crowds. We went to ‘Mother day or special person day’ events and planted seeds and enjoyed afternoon tea, as well as engaging in ‘fathers day’ sports activities.
We always felt that collaborating with teachers was pivotal to ensuring my child’s educational experience was positive and affirming. Regular communication, sharing important milestones, and addressing any concerns or questions were key aspects of this partnership. By fostering a strong parent-teacher relationship, we ensured our child received the support they needed to flourish academically and emotionally.
Looking back on the last two years of my child’s journey through school, I’ve witnessed the power of acceptance, education, and collaboration in creating an inclusive environment. While challenges may arise, embracing diversity, building relationships, challenging assumptions, and advocating for inclusivity have proven transformative.
By sharing my experiences, I hope to inspire other LGBT+ families to approach their child’s school journey with confidence, knowing that their unique perspectives and experiences contribute to a more accepting and inclusive educational environment for all.