Society

Originally published here: https://www.boldvoices.co.uk/blog/2025/3/20/what-can-we-learn-about-masculinity-and-misogyny-from-the-netflix-drama-adolescence

On March 13 Adolescence premiered on Netflix, a week on and the show has a 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and has sent waves across media, starting conversations about themes of masculinity, the ‘manosphere’, incel culture and gender-based violence more widely. It is a show that has driven home the fear of what happens when harmful attitudes and beliefs develop into extreme violence.

If you’re looking to understand some of the key terms used in the series take a read of this article first: https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/andrew-tate-incel-meaning-adolescence-netflix-b1217106.html

The question of ‘why’ runs throughout the four-part series. What made this 13 year old boy brutally stab and murder his school mate, Katie. Where did his behaviour come from? Was it the ‘masculinity’ modelled by his father? A generally kind man who displays a couple of emotional and physical outbursts throughout the show (including physically intimidating and handling a child who vandalised his work van)? Was it his friends at school who ultimately provided him with the murder weapon? Was it the misogyny influencers and their ideas? Or the social media sites platforming these influencers and offering young people the impunity which allows them to say harmful and destructive things to and about each other?

Throughout the show we are trying to understand if Jamie is a good kid at heart who was ultimately misguided and has done something devastating, but out of character. Or whether he is a bad kid that has been able to manipulate and hide his darkness from his parents, and even us as viewers. But then again how bad of a kid can you really be with planet wallpaper and stickers of tiny astronauts? These minor and seemingly unremarkable, but ultimately essential, details about Jamie’s room make up the final scenes of this powerful show. They are a reminder that Jamie could be any young boy in any family. It is just how unremarkable he is as a character that makes this story so poignant.

So what themes about masculinity, and adolescence, can we draw out from the show?

Masculinity, the ‘manosphere’ and ‘incel’ communities

Jamie is a boy who we come to understand has been spending time online, getting drawn into ‘manosphere’ and ‘incel’ communities. During the second episode that takes a look at Jamie’s school, we learn about the “call to action by the manosphere”, the meaning behind ‘red pills’ and ‘blue pills’ and the 80/20 rule (that 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men).

“Red pill is like I see the truth, it’s a call to action by the manosphere. Which is where the 100 comes in, the 80/20 rule. 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men. Women, you must trick them because you will never get them in a normal way… she’s saying he’s an Incel dad” – Episode 2 | 29:50 – 31:00

When we hear from Jamie about this, he acknowledges that he knows about these ideas and that “he had a look but didn’t like it” although in talking about the 80/20 rule he says “I do think they’re right about that though”.

The writer, Jack Thorne, is very honest about the fact that through his research he realised that “there was a logic to this and how they see the world”. It is through Thorne’s vulnerability in admitting this that we are reminded of an uncomfortable truth, that the attitudes and beliefs displayed by many of these online forums and communities are attractive to boys and young men and resonate with a vulnerability they actually feel.

In the third episode Jamie is asked about what he thinks about men, about masculinity. In particular, he’s asked about his dad and grandad, what he thinks about them and what type of men they are. We get insights into the stereotypes that pervade about masculinity; his dad as a hard worker who provides for his family, who can get angry and lose his temper, who loves his wife and is good to women, but doesn’t have any female friends. None of this is positioned as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but it holds a mirror up to the expectations we have of men and masculinity that continue to frame a ‘real man’ as someone who is physically and emotionally strong and dominant, who protects and provides for loved ones and who sees women as objects of love and affection, but not necessarily giving space for relationships to women that exist outside of caregiver, nurturer or romantic partner.

These questions are vital, and they connect back to the extreme views many boys and young men are consuming online. Rhetoric that is based on the inherent idea that a ‘real man’ doesn’t show vulnerability or weakness, protects and provides for those around him, is successful at ‘getting women’, and gains status through money, physical strength, women and material markers of success such as fast cars and displays of wealth.

Jamie couldn’t necessarily clearly articulate what makes someone ‘a man’ but he knew exactly what makes someone ‘not manly’ and his visceral rejection of those ideas were far more natural for him to display, when asked if he was friends with women he says “no” and “I’m not a twt though*”. His disdain for feminine traits and femininity is far clearer than his ‘love’ for ‘manliness’, a nuance that is powerfully captured in the show.

Femininity, objectification, power and misogyny

Not only do we get insight into how Jamie feels about himself, we are able to understand a little of how he views girls and women. The fact that he sees girls as objects and that viewing explicit images of girls that he knows (and girls and women he doesn’t know) is not something that he questions; when asked about whether he thinks the girls would be happy about him seeing explicit images of them he responds, “everyone else did”. The normalisation of girls as objects, and the non-consensual sharing and viewing of explicit images of girls, is so normal it is not worth denying or lying about.

It becomes further apparent that Jamie’s relationship to girls is far from healthy. He lies about having had sexual experiences with girls, he shrugs off the fact that he doesn’t have any friends that are girls, when asked about whether he was attracted to Katie after seeing an explicit image of her he makes an objectifying and dismissive comment about her body, saying, “no” and that “she was flat”. Jamie articulates a desire to have a girlfriend however he doesn’t seem able to articulate, or even understand, what that dynamic might look like aside from him owning or receiving sexual gratification or pleasure from a girlfriend. In the fourth episode we are presented with a stark contrast to this when Jamie’s parents are reminiscing about their first date as 13 year olds at the school disco, we hear about teenagers in the first moments of genuine connection, something that feels completely inaccessible to Jamie.

Despite answering “no” to the question of whether he feels powerful viewing explicit images of girls he knows, there are subtler insights into how Jamie feels about power and women. In one moment he stands over the psychologist and shouts in her face, a male member of staff comes to the door but she indicates that she’s okay. In response, Jamie says “what was that? hey? what the fk was that? signalling him away like a fking queen yeah?”. He is angry and riled up when faced with a woman in control.

We also get insight when Jamie reveals the impact that rejection has on him. We hear that Jamie had previously asked Katie out to the fair but that she wasn’t interested and said no to him. Although he insists multiple times that he did not “fancy” her and that he was not attracted to Katie because she’s not “his type”, Jamie shares that he assumed she would be feeling weak after explicit images of her had been shared round the school. Jamie wanted to take advantage of this vulnerability and ask her out, which meant when she rejected him, he was left feeling all the more insulted and angry.

“I just thought she might be weak after all that, cus everyone was calling her a slag or flat or whatever so I thought if she was that weak she might like me. It’s clever, don’t you think. I said I was sorry and that the guy who shared her picture was a wanker and that I’d take her to the fair if she liked… she just laughed and said – I’m not that desperate.” – Episode 3 | 42:00 – 44:00

A culture of misogyny and gender-based violence

A common reaction I’ve heard from parents and adults in response to Adolescence is fear. In particular, a fear that is centred around the online world and the harmful content that children and teenagers may be consuming without us realising. While this fear is incredibly valid and understandable, we must also be wary of not letting this fear distract us from the roots of this problem that exist far beyond the internet and the communities found there.

It is in the subtler moments in the show that we see these roots and an acknowledgement that it isn’t just the online world that led to Jamie’s actions, it is a wider ‘culture’ of gender inequality:

• Jamie does not address his mum or sister at all – exclusively reaching for the support and validation of his father.
• Jamie implies that having female friends makes someone a “twat”.
• Jamie exaggerates and lies about having had sexual experiences with girls to the psychologist and then immediately takes this back and reveals the true extent of those sexual experiences.
• Jamie feels confident enough to shout and scare the female psychologist, someone in a position of authority who is at least 15 years his senior.
• Jamie shares his awareness of his dads disappointment/shame at the fact that he wasn’t ‘sporty’.
• The school teacher only introduces the male police officer and then has to quickly introduce the female police officer when she realises her omission a few seconds later.
• The treatment of female staff members in the school where we hear male students shouting “Shut up miss!”
• The response to Ryan after he is punched by Jade (Katie’s best friend) in the playground – when another student says “You just got banged by a girl you sausage”.
• The way the female psychologist is made to feel uncomfortable by the male CCTV operator.

What happens if we watch the show without focusing on investigating the crime itself, but instead, understanding the culture all around it? The show perfectly presents the subtleness of gender stereotypes and gender attitudes that are pervasive in society. How they are shaping the way we talk to and about each other based on gender, what we expect from ourselves and each other based on gender and how we treat ourselves and others when those expectations are not fulfilled.

Adolescence confronts us with the truth that acts of gender-based violence are not committed by ‘bad apples’. Jamie is a 13 year old child who has been indoctrinated and who has had gender-based violence normalised and even glorified. There are moments that we feel deep empathy for Jamie and moments where we are scared of him, moments that ranged from the casualness with which he displayed misogynistic attitudes to the outbursts of anger and rage. But Adolescence raises the questions rather than providing the answers. The answers lie in the communities around young people coming together to prioritise education that gets to the root of the issue and addresses the gender stereotypes and attitudes that seem harmless in isolation, but together contribute to a culture that normalises gender-based violence and misogyny.

Questions to start conversations based on Adolescence:

• Why is being able to get girls or female attention so important to being seen as ‘manly’?
• Are all young boys as likely to be influenced by these messages as each other? If not – why?
• When Jamie calls himself “ugly” we get an insight into how he views himself and his self-esteem, how does this connect to his actions?
• We know many of these ideas are consumed online, where else do we learn these ideas?
• Why did the boy who received the photo of Katie spread it round? What did he gain by doing this?
• Why did Jamie think Katie was “easier to get” after the photos were leaked? How do you feel about that?
• What did Jamie feel when Katie rejected him? Why might he have felt that way?

Resources and places to learn more about these issues:

Toolkit: School of Sexuality Education – ‘A Look Into the Incel Movement: A Guide to Tackling Online Cultures of Misogyny for Schools, Colleges and Universities’

Book: Laura Bates – Men Who Hate Women

Ted Talk: Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen – ‘Violence against women—it’s a men’s issue’