Intervention

Most of us have heard of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), but less well known about is Al-Anon and Alateen.

I met with Cheryl, a long-term member of Al-Anon, and she explains what Al-Anon and Alateen do, how they work and what impact they may have on the lives of members who are suffering from another’s problem drinking.

Q: What is the difference between AA, Al-Anon and Alateen?

A: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a fellowship who come together from all walks of life and who share one common goal – to recover from alcoholism and achieve continued and sustained sobriety. Less well known about is Al-Anon (18+ adults) and Alateen (12-17 yr olds). Like AA, Al-Anon and Alateen are groups of men and women, of all faiths and walks of life, however this time with a focus on the person(s) affected by another’s alcoholism.

Q: Are there any entry requirements to joining Al-Anon and Alateen?

A: The only requirement is that you are suffering from the effects of another’s alcoholism.

Q: Are Al-Anon and Alateen a religious organisation?

A: No. Though “God” is referred to, it is a spiritual God, a higher power and everyone is free to define their own “higher power”. For some that may be a bird, a rose or the moon. For others it may be the group, prayer or meditation. For some the higher power may change over time.

Q: What does it cost to join?

A: Nothing. There are no fees associated with joining Al-Anon or Alateen. This is a non-profit organisation. Members are invited to make a donation towards room hire and/or literature at the end of the meeting. There is no requirement to contribute. 

Q: Do the groups offer advice and/or counselling?

A: No. We are not trained therapists. “Let it begin with you” is an Al-Anon slogan which is the primary focus of the program. It suggests we shift the focus of our attention from the alcoholic in our lives to ourselves and begin living our own lives rather than interfering with theirs. The program offers a welcoming, friendly and confidential environment where group members understand in ways others cannot the difficulties we have experienced. We are free to speak of whatever is on our minds and we may share our experiences. Whilst the newcomer may need to offload a challenge or problem, most people find the focus naturally shifts away from the alcoholic and they start to gain insight into their own behaviour and how we may have contributed to our situation and how things may improve. We refrain from giving advice. There are many tools within the Al-Anon readings. Together we can find coping strategies to aid recovery of ourselves and to help us concentrate on our own wellbeing, behaviour, actions and reactions. Together we understand that we are powerless over alcoholism, that our lives have become unmanageable and we seek ways to assist our daily lives. We cannot control what the alcoholic does or does not do and we should not seek to change or control that which we cannot. Instead, we focus on the control we have over ourselves. We acknowledge that alcoholism is a disease and we develop understanding that, through our actions, we aid recovery of ourselves and, potentially, the alcoholic if we seek to change our own actions and feelings about the situation rather than focussing solely on the actions and feelings of the alcoholic. 

Q: What do meetings typically involve?

A: A warm, friendly, non-judgemental welcome from a group of individuals who are going through or have gone through the same/or similar challenging journey as you. A cup of tea and a box of tissues are at the ready if needed. Each week a different topic is covered. This could be anything from ‘Resilience’ to ‘Hyper-vigilance’ to ‘Boundaries’ to name just three, but there are many more. We may do an inspirational reading for that topic and then offer up the table to anyone who would like to contribute either with a reading or with their thoughts or own personal experience which may or may not be related to the chosen topic. There may be shared experiences , but each member will have their own unique perspective. By keeping an open mind, you may hear something you can identify with, which may assist you to move forward. Newcomers often feel they have nothing helpful to share but often they provide golden nuggets that are incredibly beneficial to long-time members.

Q: Will the meetings help me and/or my family and the alcoholic?

A: We receive so much positive feedback. Al-Anon is about changing the actions and behaviours of ourselves rather than focussing on the alcoholic (as we have no control over the latter). Let it begin with us. These meetings might show us that ways in which we thought we were helping may have, in fact, negatively impacted potential recovery of ourselves and the alcoholic.  In the absence of judgment, blame, guilt and shame, individuals feel free to openly discuss matters and often say they feel like a weight has been lifted when they leave the sessions.

Q: What is the minimum amount of sessions I should participate in?

A: It is completely up to the individual. We say it is best to go for at least six sessions, to learn how Al-Anon works and decide whether the program is for you. Sometimes it may not be the right time, but often people come back. There is no minimum or maximum term.  Some individuals come for a few weeks, some dip in and dip out when convenient for themselves. Others have been attending for many years. 

Q: Will what I say be treated in confidence?

A: Yes, anonymity is the foundation of Al-Anon. In order for everyone to feel safe, it is part of the ethos and ethics of the group that everything spoken about within the group stays in the group.

Q: What may be the benefits of joining Al-Anon and Alateen?

A: There is something hugely comforting in knowing that there are others, many others, out there who share the same challenging problems as you. Alcoholism is a family disease which affects the whole family. Young people attending Alateen meetings or adults attending Al-Anon in person or online, can see that they are not alone and that they did not cause the problem, neither are they responsible for their relative’s or friend’s drinking. Young people can benefit from sharing experiences with others of their own age and this often helps them understand their alcoholic relatives and recognise they are not to blame for the difficulties experienced with their home/families and could, in time, lessen the effects of having lived with alcoholism. 

Q: Which one word would you use to describe Al-Anon and Alateen?

A: Insightful.

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Poor mental health and resulting drug or alcohol addiction spans generations and boundaries of socio-economic and cultural backgrounds. It is not a life-style choice. It is a disease which affects the whole family, relatives and friends.

For too many families in the UK, there remains a stigma associated with mental health and addiction issues. Guilt, shame, embarrassment and denial prevent sufferers and their families from seeking early intervention. All too often, without support, sufferers and their loved ones hide in plain sight and battle illness behind closed doors which leads to isolation, depression, anxiety and desperation. 

Speaking with Cheryl and seeing first-hand the wonderful support offered to families and friends of alcoholics is heart-warming and fundamentally essential to the wellbeing of those affected. 

Wherever possible, it is crucial that institutions such as the NHS, Education, Social Services, Addiction Services and the Criminal Justice System signpost this free service, so that families and friends of alcoholics can, if they so choose, access this vital service. The hope is that their voices are heard and their lived daily reality is understood. No longer should families and friends be isolated behind closed doors and remain the silent witnesses to addiction.

What one word would I use to sum up these groups? Empowerment.