Bereavement and Grief toolkit icon

Bereavement and Grief Toolkit

Bereavement and Grief Toolkit

Toolkit collated by Holly Coull and Malarvilie Krishnasamy

Definitions

The terms bereavement and grief are often used interchangeably, but they refer to different aspects of the experience of loss:

Bereavement:
  • Definition: Bereavement refers to the period of mourning and adjustment that follows someone’s death.
  • Focus: It is more about the state or process of having experienced a loss, often linked to social or cultural customs related to mourning.
  • Example: After the death of a family member, you are said to be "in bereavement," which may involve formal rituals like funerals or wearing mourning clothes.
Grief:
  • Definition: Grief is the emotional response to loss, encompassing the feelings of sadness, pain, anger, and longing that a person experiences when someone dies.
  • Focus: It refers to the internal emotional journey and reactions to the loss, which can vary greatly from person to person.
  • Example: You might feel intense grief when you think about the memories you shared with the person who has died, and this can show up in waves over time.

In short, bereavement is the state of loss, and grief is the emotional process that accompanies that loss. Bereavement can lead to grief, but grief can also occur for other types of losses, like the end of a relationship or job, not just death.

What Are the Different Types of Baby Loss?

Listed below are the most common types of baby loss:
  • Miscarriage: In the UK, is a loss of pregnancy before the 24th week of pregnancy.
  • Missed miscarriage: This type of miscarriage is when the pregnant person has had the usual signs of pregnancy and attends for their antenatal care or scan where no heartbeat is detected.
  • Stillbirth: In the UK, is when a baby at 24 week gestation or beyond, has died in the womb or during birth.
  • Ectopic pregnancy: Where the fertilised egg embeds outside of the uterus, typically in the fallopian tube. This happens early in the pregnancy.
  • Molar pregnancy: Where a fertilised egg implants in the womb but the tissue that starts to rapidly develop is not normal and is known as gestational trophoblastic disease. This is classified as a tumour. This can be benign or cancerous.
  • Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) or cot death: Is the unexpected death of a baby in their first year of life.
  • Neonatal loss: The death of a baby in the first month of life.
  • Termination of pregnancy due to medical reasons (TFMR): Where an anomaly (life-threatening or life-altering condition) is identified and the parent makes the incredibly difficult choice to end the pregnancy.
  • Losing a baby through illness or accident
  • Losing a twin or multiple

Ref: Taken from ‘The Baby Loss Guide by Zoë Clark-Coates

Why Do Educators, Line Managers, Educational Workplaces Need to Be Informed about Bereavement and Grief?

Educators, line managers, and educational workplaces need to be informed about bereavement and grief, which includes baby loss, to provide compassionate, timely, and appropriate support to staff and students. Understanding the emotional impact of loss enables leaders to create a supportive environment, reduce stigma, and ensure that individuals experiencing grief have access to the necessary time off, mental health resources, and accommodations. By being informed, schools can foster a culture of empathy, address the unique needs of those affected by bereavement or grief, and promote overall well-being within the school community.

General Employment Rights in the UK Regarding Bereavement and Baby Loss Include:

1. Time Off for Dependants (Bereavement)

Under the Employment Rights Act 1996, employees, including teachers, have the right to take reasonable unpaid time off to deal with an emergency involving a dependant, which includes bereavement (such as the death of a close family member). This allows for time to arrange or attend a funeral, but the law doesn’t specify the amount of leave—what’s “reasonable” is determined by the circumstances.

2. Parental Bereavement Leave (Baby Loss)

The Parental Bereavement (Leave and Pay) Act 2018 provides statutory rights to employees who lose a child under 18 or experience a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy. This includes:

  • 2 weeks of statutory leave (paid or unpaid depending on eligibility).
  • Employees can take the leave in one block or split it into two separate one-week periods.
  • Eligible employees can receive Statutory Parental
  • Bereavement Pay (SPBP) if they meet the qualifying criteria for length of service and earnings.

In addition to these statutory rights, schools or academies may have their own policies that offer further paid or unpaid compassionate leave.

The Diverse Educators’ Bereavement and Grief Toolkit

We are collating a growing bank of resources to help you to review and develop how you support people experiencing bereavement and grief in your school. Here are some questions to reflect on:

  1. Support Systems: What structures or processes are currently in place in our school to support staff and students experiencing bereavement and/or grief?
  2. Communication: How do we ensure sensitive and appropriate communication with those affected by bereavement and/or grief? Do we provide clear guidelines for staff?
  3. Leave Policies: Are our bereavement and parental leave policies clear, accessible, and supportive for staff? Do they meet both legal requirements and the emotional needs of individuals?
  4. Training: Do our staff feel equipped and confident in offering support to colleagues and students experiencing loss? What training or resources could help improve this?
  5. Emotional Well-being: How do we prioritise emotional well-being for those impacted by loss, including opportunities for counselling or mental health support?
  6. Cultural Sensitivity: How do we ensure our approach to bereavement and/or grief is culturally sensitive and inclusive of diverse backgrounds and beliefs?
  7. Follow-up Support: What ongoing support do we offer to individuals after the immediate bereavement period? Do we have a system to check in with them over time?
  8. Student Support: How are students affected by bereavement and/or grief supported emotionally and academically? What additional resources could be provided?
  9. Community Involvement: How can we engage the wider school community—parents, guardians, and external services—in supporting those experiencing loss?
  10. Policy Review: How often do we review and update our bereavement and/or grief policies to ensure they remain relevant and effective?

These reflective questions aim to strengthen how schools provide compassionate and effective support for those experiencing loss.

Articles

Castle, J., & Phillips, W.L. (2003)

Grief Rituals: Aspects That Facilitate Adjustment to Bereavement

Read

Fareez, M. (2015)

The ‘Life Certificate’: A tool for grief work

Read

Ferguson, David - The Guardian

We don’t ‘lose’ our mothers – the reality is more violent than that

Read

Roupp, Andre

Expressing Grief Through Art: A Healing Journey

Read

Blogs

The Conversation

The Dos and Don’ts of Supporting Women After a Miscarriage

Read

Krishnasamy, Malarvilie

How to Help a Grieving Friend

Read

Krishnasamy, Malarvilie

Mental Health Awareness Week 2024 – Miscarriage

Read

The Legacy of Leo

LGBT Baby Loss

Read

Online Nursing

Emotional Healing After Miscarriage Guide

Read

Schmelzer, Gretchen

Leading Your Team Through Loss

Read

Wilson, Hannah

Saying Goodbye: Bereavement Support

Read

Books

Clark-Coates, Zoë MBE

The Baby Loss Guide

View

Clark-Coates, Zoë MBE

Pregnancy After Loss

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Coryell, D. M. (1998)

Good grief: Healing through the shadow of loss. Shiva Foundation

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McQuaid, C.

Understanding Bereaved Parents and Siblings: A Handbook for Professionals, Family, and Friends

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Miller, C.A.

Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide

View

The MaternityTeacher PaternityTeacher Project

The MaternityTeacher PaternityTeacher Project Handbook – A Guide to Teaching Parenting and Creating Family Friendly Schools

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Neimeyer, R.

Narrative Strategies in Grief Therapy

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Sas, C and Coman, A.

Designing personal grief rituals: An analysis of symbolic objects and actions

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Walter, T.

The Revival of Death

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Courses

Cruse Bereavement Support

Grief and the workplace

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Barefoot Coaching

Coaching for loss, change, uncertainty and grief

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Sands

Bereavement in the workplace

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Podcasts

Bereavement Room

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Dad Still Standing Podcast

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GriefCast

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Grief Encounters

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Grief for beginners: 5 things to know about processing loss

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Mindfulness and Grief

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Voices of Baby Loss podcast

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Resources

Cruse Bereavement Care

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The Dougy Center

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Grief Recovery Method

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HelpGuide

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Mind

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The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organisation (NHPCO)

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Winston’s Wish

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Resources for those dealing with baby loss

Baby loss information and support | Tommy's

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4Louis A UK Charity Supporting Families with Child Loss

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Miscarriage Association Helpline

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Miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death – rights to time off and pay - Maternity Action

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Petals, The baby loss counselling charity

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Pregnancy, Birth and Baby

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Request a baby loss certificate - GOV.UK

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Sands | Saving babies' lives. Supporting bereaved families

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Videos

Dr. Alan Wolfelt

“Understanding Grief”

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Dr Bill Webster

“Grief Matters: Coping with Grief”

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The Dougy Center

“What is Grief?”

View

The Grief Recovery Method

“The 5 Stages of Grief”

View

The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

“Grief: A Part of Living”

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Sheila Shindler

“Coping with Grief and Loss”

View